Iss route ki sabhi line-y...
I have been kinda busy.
Hmm. Not quite the way to start. But does keep the reader guessing. Sure, let’s keep it. No wait, let’s modify that a little.
I have been terribly busy.
Yeah, give yourself that importance. You self-centered pompous freak!
I have been tied up with certain things that take most of my time.
Right. And the whole world is out fishing. C’mon!! The truth can’t be so bad.
I have been quite lazy these last few weeks. So lazy, I have found it difficult to do the one thing I love the most – write.
A tad too much, eh? What the heck. Let’s just give it to them plain and simple.
Being an RJ is like… like…
Now, where is a good simile when you want one??
…like practicing for a big game? Nah, too sporty!
…like shopping for matching shoes? Nope! Too shoppy!
…like trying to eat a vadapav and a burger? Nay, too sloppy…
…like eating and burping at the same time? Ewww, disgusting!!
…like wearing a Tie on a T-Shirt?? Huh?? WHAT??
…like playing Base-ket-ball
Yeah, that kinda fits.
Being an RJ is like playing Base-ket-ball. Too many rules, too few players, and no idea of who’s doing what. But somehow, at the end of a play, you gotta earn points. Brownie points. And I don’t even like Brownies.
Yeah, that’s a good start. Fits like a glove.
An RJ, depending on whether s/he’s on contract or payroll, puts in around 4-9 hours of work each day.
Scratch that. Sounds like an article for Radio & Music.
I start my day pretty late…
Scratch that, too.
I work hard for my show, and harder after it ends.
Better.
I work hard for my show. And even harder after it ends. Every moment I spend on air has to be crafted to perfection and embellished with the right amount of garnish and adequate spice, and yet, not leave a bad taste in the mouth.
Hey, this one beats the Base-ket-ball simile hands down.
And that leaves me little or no time to spend for myself.
Yeah, straight on!! No chance to block the jab. Just knock ‘em out!
Worse, it has now taken me more than a month to upload this post.
That’s right!! Make them feel sorry for you. Let them have pity on you. Not sympathy, P-I-T-Y, pity. Sympathy is for dogs and cats.
Makes you wonder, is it all worth?
Good! Sow the seed of doubt. Let them feel guilty for having pestered you.
Well yeah! RJ-ing is fun. You get to be a celebrity without having to worry about NOT having a private life. You see, nobody knows you. You are just another person, lost in the sea of humanity. Just another face.
Cute. A sneak peek into the life of a pseudo-celebrity. Pummel on!!
And when people do recognize you, it’s a different high altogether!
Okay, that’s enough. Stop gloating.
But, you do have to adhere to strict timings. You have to live by the minutes and the seconds. Those who have spent an entire life-time watching train time-tables like a hawk (read: Residents of a metropolitan suburbia) would understand this perspective.
The only difference – as I see it – there are no trains on the RJ-ing track. Only stations – Radio Stations.
Guess what, good similes do appear when you get into the groove!!
The schedules on these stations – Radio Stations – are tighter than the trains of Suburbia. There are no delays. Every thing has to – and does – run on time.
Beware of overkill.
So, adhering to such time-tables gets kinda hectic and tiresome, even if you have to do it religiously for only a short span – say, four hours a day.
Slip it in. Quietly. They will never know when this hits them.
Imagine having to watch a clock and a pressure gauge simultaneously, answer calls, make witty speeches, interact, watch out for treacherous software, pesky interruptions, listen to rants, pacify superiors, and yet keep a smile on your face.
That’s right. Rub it in.
Sounds like a regular day at the office, eh? Yeah, it does…
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! That is suicide!!
Now try doing all of the above when 20 lakh people are watching every move you make. Or rather, listening to every breath you take.
Brilliant!! I eat my words!!
Yeah, that’s what I do for a living. Fun, no?
Short, crisp and concise. Killer finish!! You will have them eating out of your hands!! You ARE a ROCKSTAR!!! Long live the King!!
Yup! I have finally lost it. :D