Meet the parents - II
So there I was, with the girl of my dreams, and she was making a mess of my dreams…
I never was good at handling crying women. Still, I decided to take the plunge…
“C’mon! Don’t take that to heart! I was merely saying things that I didn’t really mean to… I mean I did mean them, but not in the way I am supposed to mean them… I mean, I- ”
“Oh!, Shut up!! Is it that difficult for a man like you to say sorry? Just a simple word, sorry?”
I was amazed. She had hit it right where it hurts – the most… (apart from the area a few inches below the groin).
“Go ahead say it… It can’t be that difficult. Just a single small simple word. Sorry. That’s it..”
“Uhh, I ….uhhh… am…err… I mean…”
Hey!! Wait a minute. Why the f**k should I apologise? I mean (Ok, Ok, I know. Enough of ‘I mean’s), I did not intend to make her cry. She interpreted things in a way that they shouldn’t have been. It was not my fault that she took them in the wrong sense of the term… No way did I explicitly say that… that… whatever she thought I said.
Or may be I should apologise. It was actually very wrong to say things like that to a woman. Especially the woman of your dreams. It could lead to very weird consequences (which I don’t think I need to elablorate). After all, you must treat a woman in an absolutely civil manner. Mine was not at all the way to speak to a woman, especially, my dream woman…
“Hey, wait a sec. Why the f**k should I apologise?”
Yes. I actually said that to her. I mean my male chauvinistic ego won over the arguments that were being discussed in my thinking mind…
“WHAT?? You mean, you don’t think you have done any wrong? Youi insensitive, crappy, son of a b****h?”
“Mind your language, lady! I have said nothing but the truth. And if you believe I have said something wrong, I believe its your fault that you misinterpreted things. What I said to you was purely unintentional and yet, the whole truth. If you can’t stand the truth you had better go back to reading crappy M&B novels like you always do. The ones that describe your dream man sweeping you off your feet. But don’t forget, this is life and that is fiction. Do not expect a man to apologise for everything… even you mistakes…”
Have you ever noticed, that when you want to speak out your mind, you are always unable to do so. But if some one instigates you to do so you always yell it out. Like there’s some energy that drives you and your words. And before you realize you are speaking clearer that a crystal. And that usually hurts. Moreover, when someone accuses you, and if you think you are wrongly accused, you always take a stand opposite to what the person says. Even if the person in front of you is right.
I saw that she had become silent all of a sudden. I was tempted to believe that I had won. But when I saw her face, I saw that I had lost. In fact, I had been routed…
“You know what? You had better apologise to me this very moment or the consequences could be disastrous…”
“Yeah, right!! Like you are gonna throw karate punches at me and I am gonna fall flat!! Oooooh! I am so scared!!”
“Hey buddy lemme tell you about something that’s worse than a karate punch. Guess what, All I am gonna do is just start screaming ‘Rape’ and you are fried for life”
I started laughing. Yes I did. She looked on bewildered.
“”Hey you! Why are you laughing? You know what. I am gonna start screaming now!!”
I was nearly in splits and had to hold my tummy top prevent myself from falling down. She looked on as if I had swallowed a huge dose of laughing gas. She had made up her mind to scream and very nearly did so…
“Okay! I won’t shout if you tell me why you are laughing.”
“Is that a deal you’re offering me or is it your curiosity getting better of you?”
“Whatever. Just blurt it out.”
“My dear goddess. Have you ever given a thought to the surroundings that we are in? I mean there is hardly any vegetation here let alone a soul. Even if you do yell ‘Rape’ or whatever, who do you think is gonna run to your rescue? Come to think of it I might actually get away with it. Thanx for the idea…”
Her face had a deathly pallor and She looked REAL scared.
“Now who’s the one thats fried?”
“Please let me go. I am not gonna scream or do anything. Please lemme go…”
“Hey relax princess, I ain’t gonna do anything to you. Trust me. I was just kidding there. I ain’t no bad guy. I am a certified good ‘un. So relax. In fact I missed my bus just so that you wouldn’t feel alone and my next one ain’t due for the next half an hour or so.”
That was indeed true. But I missed the bus only because I was arguing with her.
Anyways, there I was with my princess who was dead scared, the surroundings somehow adding to the effect. I knew there was no way I could convince her otherwise. So I stayed a few feet away from her never to let her outta my sight. When finally her bus pulled up in the distance, I saw her breathe a sigh of relief.
She turned to me and said:
“I dunno if I oughtta thank you or stay away from you. But what you did was a noble gesture or so I would say. I have no words to express what I feel. How can I ever thank you?”
“Let’s start with this question. Do you still think I am gonna rape you?”
She laughed and then I knew the distances had dissolved. I decided to leave it at that. But she didn’t want to. Or so it seemed.
“No seriously. How can I thank you?”
“Maybe some other time. Right now you need to get outta this forsaken place, that’s how you can thank me. We’ll meet later if we can somehow. Let’s not make any attempt. Let things take their course, if you understand what I mean”
The bus went on and she left me standing at the bus-stop, this time however, not alone.
Okayyy…As I returned to my thoughts and my present… Now on to the excruciating ceremony of meeting my uncle… As I began to imagine the mechanical rituals I would have to undergo, my heart filled up with disgust and I prepared for another long evening. Well, I had to do it…
Onward then, to the land of the plentiness and nothing…
“98% of the people accept half of the people in the world are prejudiced. All of them believe that they do not fall in this half.”
-Ripped off statistical data.
To be continued…