Meet the Parents - Part I

I hadn’t met anyone in a long, long time. As a result, it was but natural that for my parents to resort to that famous pestering line of theirs – “You should meet up with them, they are a good family. Moreover, it is their room that you are living in! When are you going to meet them?”

I had absolutely no qualms in meeting up with them – and I also had aboslutely no time to meet up with them…

One day I finally made up my mind to pay them a visit. I readied myself mentally (and physically) and stepped out of (their) house to visit them in (again, their) house.

I stood at the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive. Fifteen slow-moving minutes later I noticed that, I was the only one at the bus stop. I decided to wait nevertheless. At least I had got ample eye-candy…

(You mean, I didn’t tell you there were amazingly beautiful women to stare and ogle at? Ohh!! I am really sorry!!)

I was beginning to get bored, (even my eyes were beginning to tire out because of the continous strain of looking at the beautiful chicks, imagine that!!), when suddenly I caught the hint of a sweet floral perfume in the air. It was exotic. I turned immediately and saw the most beautiful vision a man could ever see…

She was standing there all alone, in a tight fitting dress (man, the only time I will ever thank a tailor for making the girl’s dresses so tight fitting). She stood there like an Arabian queen in a desert surveying her kingdom, while her khadim could do nothing but stare on at her. I don’t know how long I was staring at her, but soon she noticed it and responded with a smile.

I was in seventh heaven!! She actually smiled!! My heart was beating at a rate of a thousand beats per minute! I had never before gone up to converse with a girl all byself and didn’t have the courage to do it even this time. Somehow I decided to do it and mustered up all the courage I had been carrying all along in my guts ( Now I know why they felt so heavy…)

“Hi! Waiting for a bus?”

Yuck!!!! What a disgusting opening line!! I cursed myself and decided to correct myself….

“I mean everyone at a bus-stop waits for a bus. I mean, I am at this bus-stop waiting for a bus and you are at this bus-stop. Since I am waiting for a bus, I assume you are waiting for a bus too. Well, some people do wait for other entities than a bus? But I presume you are not one of them… or at least… you don’t seem to be one of them… Or …. are you?”

I said something to that effect and she could do nothing but stare on as if I had spoken some alien language…

Well, I had almost completely ruined my chances, so I decided to play my last shots nevertheless. And thus I spake…

“Are you new in this city? I am quite new here and I find this city quite amusing…”

“Amusing?”

The heavenly voice had spoken!!!! I was going ga-ga, when it spoke again. Actually, it kinda sounded like it boomed…

“Amusing? You call this city amusing? What make you think this is amusing?”

I did not have any idea what she had in her mind. I began to relate some incidents where I had encountered some absolutely moronic individuals from the city (for details refer to my previous weblogs)

” Oh ! And you think that was amusing?”

“Yeah,I mean, Back in our city people would have been a lot more courteous and understanding. They wouldn’t treat outsiders to the city like piles of shit only worth to be trampled upon. We have at least a social sense of responsiblility…”

“Hey, hold on a minute, don’t go too far. Let me tell you some thing. I have been living in this city for the past eighteen years and I have not found a soul who would behave in the manner that you described. I would rather say that it was your haughtiness that prompted them to it…”

Haughtiness? Huh? Where were we heading? I had no idea the first encounter would turn out to be so violent… And haughtiness? I had half a mind, to tell her that people were kind to her for reasons that were probably totally different from what she assumed them to be. The reasons may have had something to do with her other ‘ass’ets. I was nearly about to tell her that, but a sense of civil responsibilty forbade me from doing anything stupid. (DAMN!!!)

But I had to give her an answer. I could not accept defeat. My male chauvinistic ego was hurt and it was hurt pretty bad. I had to think of something and I had to do it pretty fast…

“I am surprised, with your kind of haughtiness, you did not receive the same kind of replies that I did… I wonder how they made this bias…”

Subtle. But to the point.

She was dumbstruck. Never expected it to come from me, maybe.

And then it happened.

Her eyes turned glassy at first and then they welled up and soon enough they started pouring like a leaky faucet.

Ask any man what he would do if he saw a woman crying and he would say the same things that I did.

“Hey, Don’t cry. I mean It’s okay. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I mean I didn’t say that to hurt you purposefully. It just slipped. I didn’t mean to say it. I mean I know I shouldn’t have said it. But I couldn’t resist it. I mean…”

And so on, so forth, and such sorts of stupid things…. None of which I can exactly recall here… A lot of I means that I knew I absolutely didn’t mean, or then may be I did…

To be continued…