The Scarf - Part 3: A breather

Well, this one was actually titled “Random Ramblings about Collapsing Universes.”

But I guess it fits the current storyline much more. So, here goes…


Everytime the universe collapses, there is a high chance that you, my dear reader, are the principal cause.

Before you get your knickers into a twist, allow me to offer an explanation.

The collapsing of the universe happens too frequently, too often for anyone to notice. And it usually does that without the slightest preliminary notice that we all think it should serve.

Obviously, not everybody (or should i say everything?) follows the man-made precept of following rules laid down by other men.

Which in itself would be a great contradiction, because we can’t set rules for something (or someone) that set the rules for us in the first place.

Aah, I see that I am beginning to ramble. So I will very prudently get back to the thing I was attempting to explain.

The collapsing of the Universe has nothing to do with bits and pieces of everything flying hither-thither, like an explosion on some war-fields. It is much like the collapsing of a wave function, which – if you have your quantum mechanics right – happens whenever you try and detect the ruddy ol’ thing!

The collapsing of universes merely represents the shifting of probabilities that happen with every moment of decision hat comes your way. What shirt to wear, what trousers to match, what color of socks to choose, to the amount of aggression required to carry it off. Each of these decisions cause your individual universe to collapse and merge with subsequent universes, much like a segue into a song playing on the radio.

I have a distinct feeling that you may have heard all of this before. And it is a feeling i strongly despise. What with the internet and the wealth of information lying thereabouts, it would be a wonder if hadn’t stumbled across this sometime or the other.

Still, given my ability as an (unaccomplished) raconteur, I’ll just egg on, regardless. Back to collapsing universes then…

At each point the universe twists and shifts and moves in mysterious ways, its wonders to perform. Each decision, each choice, each of your moves gives the universe a new path, thus causing the old ones to collapse and re-form (pun, unintended) its ways to the new.

While all this twsting and shifting and moving in mysterious ways to reform is happening, where, I hear you cry, are we??

Well, the answer to that would be a vague-is sort of “Here, we are!”

I know, I know, that is the vaguest vague-ish sort of an answer you could ever expect, but it’ll probably help you a notch, if I added the words, “Here, being a euphemism for the present…” Is euphemism the word I am looking for?

So with all those questions and vague-ish sort of answers out of the way, we return to attack the matter at hand – the matter under scrutiny being the collapsing of universes and the cuases and effects, thereof.

The universe has this ruddy tendency to collpase at the drop of a hat. Not that many hats are being dropped these days. Come to think of it, who wears a hat these days? I am pretty sure that the trademark hat wearers – the cowboys – too desist from wearing hats for pretty much the same reason; that it stereotypes them too much!

But I digress. Where was I?

Aah yes, universes collapsing at the drop of a hat, yes!

So these universes, which have a striking affinity for dropping hats, tend to collapse and there you are!

Where, do I hear you ask, are we?

Tut, tut, I have already answered that question a few paragraphs back, so it would kindly help if you sort of got yourself into an iterative loop and paid more attention to what I was saying…

And if you do manage to extricate yourself out of the aforementioned iterative loop with a break statement or a switch case (which I safely assume you have done, since you have reached this point) I may as well go on with the proceedings, so to say.

So on with the proceedings, as you say, most of which seem to involve (or not involve, depending on which point of view you prefer) dropping hats and similar other things…

[Author’s Question: Why do the stupid things have to drop anyway??]

A collapsing universe signifies a break from the current chain of events to a new twist in th tale, a new development hitherto unseen, a different outcome of a possibility (which as we happen to know, exists in galore.

Thus when a universe collapses, the world order changes.

No, no, the sky does not go from blue to green, nor does the grass seem to effect a similar chromal exchange. What do you think it is, a ruddy cartoon?

It simply means, dear reader, that a new sequence of events is estanblished. And it might please you (or surprise you) to know that this sequence exists only unitl the time of the next universe collapse. Which, as we happen to know happens too soon for the time scale experienced by us humans.

With all these ruddy collapses happening all around us, where do I hear you ask, are we?

Tut, tut. I do think a pint or two, of the golden brew might help you restore our jangled nerves at this point.

Having already answered that question before, I will not attempt to delve into it again, since there are other, more important, questions that, I feel, require more of this delving into business…

The establishment of a new sequemce of events is not too difficult to comprehend.

In fact, it is quite simple.

Picture a series of railway tracks.


Well, picture them in ruddy ol’ Timbuktu for all that I care! Just picture them!!

All good? With me so far?

Okay, now picture them crossing each other many times over.

Not too difficult, eh?

Well, now try picturing them with trains running on them.

Aah, I seem to have had you there! You might be wondering why these trains do not crash into each other, it the tracks do not cross over many times over.

Well (and a pretty good “Well!!” I might add) the thing is, the trains do crash into each other, but they do not blow into smithereens.

They simply pass through each other as if they were ghost trains.

To be continued…